Surrogacy is when another woman carries, and gives birth to a baby for you. The woman, or couple that the surrogacy is for are called the commissioning couple and the woman carrying the child is the surrogate. Asking someone else to have a child on your behalf is usually as a last resort but even so, the decision to do this should be thought about carefully. You may want to consider surrogacy if; you have a medical condition which makes it impossible or dangerous for you to get pregnant and give birth or you have been unsuccessful with In Vitro Fertilization.
Without doubt, the most important aspect of this procedure is the commitment by both parties not just now but also in the future and the understanding of its implications. To help in these initial stages it is a good idea for all parties to sit down and discuss the situation with an experienced counselor. You will also need to get legal advice before starting out. If you intend to use a fertility clinic, both you and your partner (if you have one) and the surrogate and her partner (if she has one) will have to undergo the same processes as if you were all starting any fertility treatment.
There are two ways of having a baby with a surrogate; you can use sperm from a male partner, if you have one, and the surrogate's eggs. In this case, fertilization is usually done by artificial insemination or by Intrauterine Insemination. The second way uses the eggs from the commissioning mother (sometimes eggs that have been donated) and the sperm from the partner. This method will require the use of a fertility clinic in order for them to use In Vitro Fertilization.
Antenatal testing to check for Spina Bifida, Down's Syndrome or other congenital disorders will be necessary so complete trust between parties is absolutely vital. Of course, any potential surrogate should be capable of a safe and healthy pregnancy and birth. Try and get support, if possible from friends and family, because it is stressful both emotionally and physically. It is also important that the fertility clinic and hospital are happy about the use of surrogacy.
The law regarding payments to surrogates varies around the world so be sure of what your financial responsibility is before you proceed with this life changing decision.
It doesn't happen often but the surrogate mother might change her mind about handing the baby over to the commissioning couple, even if the baby is not genetically related to her. This is extremely difficult and painful for everyone concerned, which is why it is so essential that you trust each other and are clear and committed to your arrangement from the outset.
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